The Art Of Letting Go

I found myself wondering if the fact that I still yearned for you meant that I was supposed to fight for you. It's still a complex idea, but I realized that maybe those are just ideas and feelings. They're mere thoughts like when you think about eating the 8 piece wings with fries even though you know it'll go against what your diet calls for. You know it isn't good for you, but you still want it because it's a craving. A craving that your brain tells you you need at the moment, but ... you don't. 

I found myself wondering if these feelings were a sign. I still don't know and it bothers me every few days when it resurfaces in my idle time. Am I supposed to fight like the rom coms show me to? Am I supposed to be super vulnerable and get the happy ending like all the books and scripts say?  

It has been a tough journey, but each day I make progress. I realized that you can't shake a connection quickly, no matter how hard you may say you are. When you really committed to something it's really hard to admit that you failed, that you didn't win.

It takes time and sometimes I wish I could fast forward through it all and just get to the grand finale, but my life isn't a DVR. I have to live each raw emotion, each day, each second, each memory about you day by day and play by play. 

This isn't my first rodeo, and I know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. It just sucks when you don't know exactly how long the journey is going to last. It isn't easy, but I'm slowly letting go.  

Letting go sucks when there are so many words left unsaid, things left undone. In the end, it has to be done. 

Goodbye, love.